My Lock Down Journey
I live in India, mother of a teenager. Teenage woes includes two crucial and life defining examinations in the academic life of the teenager and as I mother, I live my teenage life vicariously once again, with my kid.
The stress of the 10th standard examinations. I want my child to do well for himself, make himself proud. Let me admit, make me proud.
With the examinations midway in the March of 2020, news of lock down looms large. Lock down? What is that?
I have not heard or seen or lived through a lock down. Didn't understand the whats and the ifs.
My mother took ill. And that changed my life too. A primary diagnosis of metastasis to the lumbar bone. A panic visit to the doctor.
The last normal day of 2020, before the lock-down, class 10 examinations were over and my mother’s diagnosis was confirmed.
Day 1 of lock-down: No hospital was ready to take a new case. A panic search for reliable oncologist. Many friends contacted. I messaged so many people in my phone book. Strangely, it’s in these times of panic that I realized the worth of networking and staying in touch.
After frantic calls over the next few days, I eventually landed at the doorstep of a hospital that was willing to take my mother’s case.
Lock-down extended and the severity of Covid19 dawned upon us Indians. Local kirana shop became our essentials supplier. No more super market visits and fancy shopping. And with that the process of applying for e-passes for the radiation treatment for my mother.
Daily hospital visit. The conversations with the hospital staff who were battling the Covid stress. There was fear everywhere and in my heart.
My felt that my family was looking up-to me to solve the crisis. Stage4 diagnosis is devastating. Everyday prayers. Dealing with the crisis inside me, outside me on the faces of my family members and the unknown Covid19.
Fear is first side of this Covid19 lock-down journey.
Blessing in disguise is the other side of this journey. Luxury of working from home.
Did I write this? Blessing? Covid19 lock-down? YES.
A mother with a teenager, working mother. Sole bread winner for the family. Covid 19 and Lock-down,blessing in disguise. Yes, Blessing.
I could space my work time, hospital time, kitchen time, time with my mother.
With the easing of lock-down, understanding life with the Covid19 protocols, my mother’s chemotherapy sessions intensified.
Strange times! Helped me discover the bond I shared with my little brother.
We became the support system for each other. I discovered the joy of having a sibling to share my life with, truly.
Amidst all this, the 10th class results of my teenager was the true joy. He aced!
July, August turned to November December. Covid19 had a strange relapse. Suddenly India was reporting less cases. My mother’s condition, gratefully remained critical but stable. She didn't leave us.
Indian parents find joy, in seeing their children get married. With great reluctance, my little brother got married. To ensure, my mother’s wishes are fulfilled. She found joy in the fact that her son has a partner, who will share his joy and sorrow in future.
This journey moved into 2021.
Mother is ill. Terminal illness. She will leave us. We are grateful, she is with us today. Everyday is a small battle. Regular visit to hospital. The chemo sessions. the joy of discovering the bond with a sibling.
The show must go on, life moves on relentlessly.
Some days are filled with gratitude, some days are not so good.
Covid19 has transformed to a disease which is mutating and continues to remain enigmatic. We are learning to live with it. Vaccines which looked a distant possibility is now a ray of hope.
We wear a mask everyday in our life. My life through the Covid19 lock-down showed me this. And now we also live with a mask that everyone around us sees.
The Mask that we always wore to cover our fears and fragile emotions.
The Mask that we wear to keep the virus away.
My journey through the lock-down and beyond…
